A True Sporting Rivalry

For non-family members.......this post is about a great football rivalry between my family and our cousins, the Lairds. It was started by my father, Desmond Walls, and my uncle, Bobby Laird.We had 5 boys (Dezy, Kevin, Peter, Paddy and myself) as did the Lairds (Bob, Eamonn, Davey, Harry and Brendan).What could be simpler or more innocent than a football match every time these two dynasties got together ? Right !

At the age of 9 I knew that there were only 3 sporting rivalries that really mattered: Dublin against Kerry; Ireland against England; and The Walls against The Lairds.






On a scale of importance The Walls against The Lairds was way out in front. Losing to Kerry or England was awful enough but at least you knew there’d be a chance for revenge within the next 12 months. Losing to the Lairds was pure, raw pain and the worst part was knowing that you probably wouldn’t play them again for another 10 years.





My father wasn’t outmanoeuvred at much but I reckon Bobby Laird had him for breakfast when together they conceived this harebrained scheme all those years ago. “I’ve got a few sons,” said my father, “check with Clare if you want exact numbers…..and you’ve got 5 sons. What could be more natural than a regular match-up with you and me as captains?”



My father knew that his superior fitness and manic drive would ensure a Walls victory 9 times out of 10……and he was right in those early days. But Bobby Laird was clearly a shrewd man. He had foresight. “Those Walls boys have talent” he thought to himself “but there isn’t an honest toiler among them. They all want to be the creative one running the show. Musicians, photographers and feckin’ bloggers the whole lot of them! Give us 10 years and we’ll be walking this match every time.”


Both teams being introduced to President DeValera the day before the 1969 match.

Now my eldest brother, Dezy, never heard Bobby having that thought, but he arrived at a similar conclusion. Unfortunately for us Dezy arrived at this conclusion after the Lairds had beaten us 16 times in a row;

“We used to win the early ones because we were older and our father was younger .... then they found our Achilles heel.” says Dez. “Get the Walls arguing among themselves and you have them. For some reason (once our natural leader was gone) we could never put anyone in charge. If Roy Keane had been a Walls he'd have had to walk out saying anarchy is self defeating.”

If Roy Keane had been a Walls brother-in-law he would have been lucky to get a game….maybe in goal. We used to rope in our brothers-in-law because we knew we weren’t good enough on our own. Ciaran and Joe were quite useful outfield players. Then we’d make them goalie because they were the only ones we could convince. We Walls brothers were far too important to go in goal. The ironic thing is that the Lairds had a brother-in-law called Felix. Now if ever a name earmarked you to play goalie it has to be Felix. You know like, ‘Felix reacted instantly and leapt feline-like to tip over another piledriver from Paddy.’ But I don’t think the Lairds ever put Felix in goal. They were nice to their brothers-in-law.

Can you believe I found a picture of Felix ?? Tx Clare.


By the time I was 9 I was already steeped in the Walls /Laird tradition. I’d never played in a Walls-Lairds game, I’d never even seen one, but I was ready to lay down my young life to help put one over those... those... Clontarfians. Dezy was still hurting from the previous 12 defeats but this time he was determined to right a great wrong. The match was scheduled for February 1977 but Dezy started plotting some 6 months earlier.

Throughout the long winter of 1976/ 77 we would wake early to train on Dollymount Strand, virtually in the shadow of the Laird homestead.  This was a masterstroke on Dezy’s part.  He knew it was only a matter of time before Uncle Bobby decided to walk the dog on the beach at 6.30am on a cold November morning. How Bobby’s heart would sink when he saw this determined group of athletes……Dezy playing in his tweed jacket and nylon slacks, Paddy lighting a fag, John puffing on his inhaler, and David Walls, well, just talking a lot.


'Dezy, why do I always have to get the ball back when it goes in the sea ?

Dezy should perhaps have suspected that all was not well simply by looking at the ages of his beach trainees…15, 13 and 9. The adults… Kevin, Peter and Ciaran… were tucked up in bed. (Actually I think Kevin was in Canada but he was probably still tucked up in bed.)

You’ve probably guessed by now that the Walls didn’t win the match in February 1977. Dezy didn’t quite pull it off. But I’ll tell you what he did do. He gave me one of the great memories of my young life. I was a 9-year old soccer nut and for me that game was more important than the FA Cup Final. I’d never been so nervous or excited about anything. There must have been 100 sisters, cousins and aunties on the sidelines at St Anne’s Park that day. It wasn’t just about the day itself though. It was the 6 months of endless tactical scheming over post-dinner coffee in Carrickbrack House. It was the heated arguments. It was the unheated early morning sessions on Dollymount Strand. It was doing something with your 4 brothers, something that our father had started and we were carrying on.


Snoopy, getting ready to chair the tactics meeting in the kitchen of Carrickbrack House.

At 9 years old it was natural to assume that there’d be many more Lairds games. In fact I can only remember one more, in the summer of 1986 which, much to everyone’s amazement, the Walls lost. It was a good occasion but, in truth, nothing could ever have compared with that first game for me.

So now, please make sure that the Lairds get to read this because there are 2 things I want to say. Firstly, please everybody add your memories to this, especially from the early days when Daddy and Bobby were involved.


The Lairds....still celebrating victory over the Walls after all these years. From left; Marie, Davey, Eamonn and Bob.

And secondly, there must surely be enough soccer-playing grandkids on both sides for us to rekindle this tradition for the next generation? Given the greater numbers on the Walls side, clearly we must have the better team, a team that will win 9 times out of 10...